The Story That Doesn't Make Sense
by OoApieceofcandy
Summary: This story is chalked-full of funniness, jewels and milk. Sorry Cullen-lovers.
1. The Story That Doesn't Make Sense

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Inuyasha, Trixie Belden and other characters that were not of my origin.

_By the way this story is written through dialogue and the parenthesized words are usually actions. And this story is soooooooo random, it's not even funny. And was written by girl with way too much time on her hans to the point where it doesn't make sense. Beware!!_

Narrator: Our story begins with a regular dude named Saj, who is baking/roasting a baby in his home in Jacksonville.

Saj: This baby has been roasting for two hours. Maybe I should check on it.(Saj bends over to see the baby in the oven . Then, the lights go off. Lights come on.)

Saj - The Baby is missing!!!(Sees a note on his kitchen counter. Picks it up and reads.)****If you wish to have the baby, bring me a magical taco from The Awesome Mountain. E.C.*sparkle, sparkle* I have to report this to a detective service. (Leaves room for a phone book and turns to detective businesses.) Hmm…Sherlock is good but too pricy. I guess I'll have to go very cheap. Trixie Belden _and Alyssa_ service!!Let's give it a call.(Dials number. Rings and the Answering machine picks up.)

Alyssa: Hello, you've reached Trixie Belden and Alyssa Services. Here serving the community since 1974. Press "1" for Detective business, "2" for my cleaning slave services and "3" for novelty t-shirts and coffee mugs.

Saj: I love all three of these things especially the slave service. I definitely need a slave to clean this hell-hole of a house.

_Two Days Later…_

(Car pulls up and two women come out and knock on the door)

Saj: Who's there?!

Trixie: It's for detective stuff. May we come in?

Saj: Sure. Come in. I just bought some Fanta, would you like some?(Fanta girls pop out of nowhere and start singing "Don't you Wanna?" song.)

Trixie: No, thank you. Tell me what happened?

Alyssa: While you do that questioning stuff, I'll clean the bedroom,

Saj: Thank you. While you're at it, can you pick up that pen I purposely threw over there, so you can pick it up?

Alyssa: Yes!

Trixie: What happened during the incident?

Saj: I was roasting a baby. Like I do every Saturday night. When I went to open the oven door. The lights went off. They came on and there were sparkles and glitter all over the place. There was a note left and it told me to go to the Awesome Mountain and get the magical taco.

Trixie: Let me see the note. (Stares at the note and looks up)There is only one person who could do this…**EDWARD CULLEN!!!!!!!!!!!!** That old bastard.

Saj: So what do we do?

Trixie: We have to go to the Awesome Mountain and get the magical taco. But the problem is…where the hell is this island?

Saj: I believe it is located on a mystical and magical island in the middle of a sea. The island comes out once a year, when in the sky you can see Neptune and Mercury.

Trixie; What sea are you talking about?

Saj: Well, its not really a sea more like a river that flows into a very large sea.

Trixie: What RIVER?!

Saj: The 's River, the most polluted river that flows through the Southeast US.

Trixie: I am afraid to go out there because my feet will dissolve in the toxic acids.

Saj: Don't worry. I will give you a jewel so you can fly. It will give you wings. The size, color and shape all will depend on your mood and attitude.(Hands over jewel to Trixie)

Trixie: What do I do with it and what about Alyssa?

Saj: Break the jewel in two. Give one half to Alyssa. When you arrive, break off a small fraction, go emo and cut yourself. Then, insert the jewel.

Trixie: Sounds painful. Cutting myself and the blood flowing.

Saj: Deal with it!!!

Trixie: Whatever (Alyssa comes downstairs in French Maid Outfit.)

Alyssa: I'm done. Anything else that you would like me to do?

Saj: No thank you.(Knocks come on door and Tyler, the next door neighbor comes with a package.)

Tyler: Hey Saj, this package came to my door. But, it's the wrong address. It belongs to you.

Saj: Thanks, what is it? (Shakes box)Would you like to come in? It's a little chilly out here.

Tyler: Sure (Saj goes into the kitchen to fix some mango tea.) Hey, I heard what happened to the baby. I know how much it means to you.(Saj walks back into the room with the tea.)

Saj: Well, I hired a detective service to solve this.

Tyler: Why didn't you report it to the police?

Saj: IDK. Plus, even if I called JSO, they would think I was crazy, put me in jail for child neglect or shoot me up.

(Trixie Belden leaves with Alyssa.)

Saj: Bye Trixie, meet me here on Friday Afternoon.

Trixie: Okay bye. (Door Closes.)

Tyler: Who was that?

Saj: Who was who?

Tyler: The tall blonde one with 70s hair that defies gravity and the one in the sexy French Maid outfit.

Saj: The blonde one is Trixie, a detective working w/ me to solve the mystery. The other one is Alyssa, she is Trixie's assistant. She's more like a slave than anything else. She cleans for extra cash.

Tyler: I would _**love**_ for her to clean my house.(Starts to smile and raises eyebrows.)

Saj: Get your mind out the gutter, dude.

Tyler: My mind is so far in the gutter it's hard to pull it out.

Saj: Pervert.

Tyler: Thank you.

_3 DAYS LATER…_

(Trixie knocks on the door.)

Trixie: Hello, Saj…He must of forgotten.

Saj: Come to the back of the house!!!

(Trixie and Alyssa walk to the back of the house, where Saj is waiting.)

Alyssa: Look there is a light coming from the back.(Alyssa and Trixie look in astonishment.)

Trixie: OMFG! Look he's on a flying llama.

Alyssa: It's so perfect like my artwork.

Saj: Hurry up and get on. We need to talk. (Trixie and Alyssa get on the llama and fly away) Do you have the jewel?

Trixie: Yeah.

Saj: Get Ready. We're almost there. While there, you have to travel to find the magical taco and Edward Cullen. Use this bow and these arrows and this sword to kill evil spirits, who try to harm you two. The good give off fresh, flowery scents. (Narrator from Febreeze commercial goes on about the new Febreeze Air Wick scent, "Minty Mountain Air".)

Trixie: That might smell nice.

Saj: Hey, ears up here. The bad give off total opposite auras. (Febreeze narrator starts speaking again)

FebreezeNarrator: Like disgusting fish and rotten food. Lucky for you, Febreeze captures odors in the air, traps them and kills them.

Alyssa: OMG!, this is guy is so convincing to buy this product.

Saj: Shut up, you annoying man!!!!Go Away, where are you speaking from anyway?, jeez.

FebreezeNarrator: Fine, see you later, ladies. Bastard.

Saj: Anyways, we're at your stop, The Jacksonville Landing. Buy as much food as you can carry. Break off a small fragment of jewel when it reaches midnight. And you're off. So long.

Trixie and Alyssa: Goodbye! See you soon.

Alyssa: Let's go, Vamanos! (Trixie and Alyssa jump in a freeze frame.)

I hope you liked it. Psssh…this story is just stupid. BUT…Oooapieceofcandy would like you to rate it.


	2. Pretty Fly for the New Guys

_Recalling events that just happened…Alyssa and Trixie meet Saj. Saj takes them to The Landing. Then a free frame._

Alyssa – Let's Go, Vamanos! (Dora the Explorer and Boots come out of nowhere and start to sing show's theme song. Swipper comes along in the song.)

Dora and Boots – Swipper, no swiping. Swipper, no swipping. Swipper no – (Swipper pulls out a gun and shoots Dora.)

Swipper – Finally, that damn bitch is freaking dead. I stopped stealing because of this whore. Now I'm free!!!! Love Guns!!!(Runs away, leaving Boots over Dora's body.)

Boots – Whhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhy her?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Trixie – Let's let him mourn.

Alyssa – Yeah.

_3 hours later…_

Trixie – Well, it's almost midnight, so let's get the jewel and fly away.(Do the thing then they grow wings.)

Alyssa – OMG!! Trixie, look at my wings. Aren't they beautiful? (Alyssa grows beautiful white wings that are very playful.)

Trixie – (Sarcastically) Yeah, they sure do.(Trixie's wings are leathery, dark-colored and just really ugly.)

Alyssa – Yours are pretty, too.

Trixie – Are you just going to stand there and bask in your own beautifulness or come with me?

Alyssa – Coming. (They fly off into the river and vanish in thin air.)

_15 minutes later…_

Narrator – The island is full of cherry blossoms, jasmines, exotic plants but it seem liked the flowers were trying to unreveal…to cover…to mask something.

Trixie – Okay, where do we go now?

Alyssa – Well, how about we ask that man over there?

(The man sat under a tree, playing an old instrument that resembled a guitar. His hair was pulled back into a ponytail and dressed in robes.)

Trixie – Excuse me, sir.( The man looks over and flees.) Excuse me…sir!!!After him!!

Narrator – The chase is on.

(The girls chase after this mysterious but then they trip and fall in a giant hole.)

Trixie and Alyssa – Whoooaa!!!Aaaahhh!!!

_**BLACKOUT**_

(Trixie wakes up laying on the ground next to an open flame.)

Trixie – What just transpired?

Man – Well…you feel into a trap and blacked out. We had to go and get you.

Trixie – Who are you and what have you done with Alyssa?!!

Jacob – Chillax. Your friend is inside the guest room with Cal. My name is Jacob. Not the one from Twilight. He's a dweeb.

Trixie – I can't _CHILLAX, _RIGHT NOW!!!

Jacob – STFU!! Are you hungry? I have some food over the fire.

Trixie - No, thank you. What is this place?

Jacob – Home. This island doesn't have a name. Well, it hasn't had a name since two years ago. This island is filthy. Barely any life roams the land and if there is, it's probably evil. Then, there is the ultimate evil, EC.

Trixie – Oh that's why when we came the island had the scent of flower but also evil. So can you tell us where the magical taco is?

Jacob – I wish I could but I'd have to kill you.

Trixie - Why?

Jacob - Because he is there. Watching us.

_Meanwhile in the guest room…_

Alyssa – Hey can you move this for me? I'm too weak. By the way, what's your name.

Caleb – My name is Caleb but you can call me Cal, okay.

Alyssa – OK

Caleb – Why do you do that?

Alyssa – Do what?

Caleb – Everything is perfectly placed and sparkly clean.

Alyssa – So you don't like it. I can make it dirtier.

Caleb – Do it.

(Alyssa throws dirt everywhere. Making things dirtier than Pig Pen.)

Alyssa – Yes! This feels so empowering.

Caleb – Oh no!

Alyssa – What?!

Caleb – You threw dirt on it but it perfectly layers ever inch of the box. You're toooo perfect.

Alyssa – Thank you! You know you're kind of cute when you're angry.

Caleb – What---?

Alyssa – You heard me. I said you're adorable.

Caleb – You wouldn't think that if I changed into my animal form.(Changes into a coyote pup.)

Alyssa – (She looks surprised and backs up as he growls. But she starts to smile.) That is sooo much…CUTER!!(She gives him a hug and he tries to run away, but Alyssa is holding him down. They start to run around chasing him.)

Alyssa – Wait, how did you save Trixie and I? You're a coyote and you have wings? How did you get them?

Caleb – Well, I have this jewel it gives me the power to grow wings and fly. But you wouldn't know anything about because you're a pathetic human. ("I've got the power" song begins to play and Caleb and Alyssa brake out in 90s dance moves.)

Alyssa – Okay but seriously. I think I have the same thing as you. How do you think we got here? Do you honestly think we swam?

Caleb – But what world are you from? You can only find those jewels here. What is that scent of yours? You smell…clean.

Alyssa – I come from this town named Jacksonville and we live on Earth. And I take showers or baths everyday.

Caleb – What is this shower thing you speak of?

Alyssa – You've got much to learn, young grasshopper.

Caleb – Hey, where is Jacob and that girl with the ugly blonde hair.

Alyssa – That girl's name is Trixie Belden and they're in the living room. We should talk to them and explain everything.(They leave the room headed for the living room.)

Caleb – Hey, Jacob! How is that girl doing? Is she awake yet? We have to talk about something.

Jacob – I already know everything.

Alyssa – Well, where is Trixie?

Jacob – She said she went to take a "bath". Whatever that is.

Alyssa – You two have a lot to learn about _our_ world.

Jacob – And _you _have a lot to learn about _our_ world to find the magical taco and that baby. And defeat Edward Cullen.

Caleb – Jacob, why are you speaking such nonsense? Remember, he is listening to us.

Jacob – Well, that girl[Trixie] taught me no longer to fear him and I have officially decided that we are going to accompany these two on the way.

Alyssa - Yay!!!(Alyssa hugs Caleb while jumping up and down.)

Jacob – Looks like you've found a mate, Cal. Caleb – No she's not my---!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Alyssa interrupts)Alyssa – I would be honored t have your puppies.

Caleb – I don't want kids. Especially not from you.

Alyssa – Come over here and give me a kiss.(Alyssa starts to chase Caleb.)

Jacob – While you two lovebirds are enjoying your time, I'm going to supervise that girl, ¡Adios!

(Walks calmly outside and look around. Sniffs air and follows her scent.)(He reaches the hot springs and stands behind a tree supervising, quietly. But then he sees a figure behind her. He springs into action yet trips on a bush and tumbles into the spring with Trixie.)

Trixie – Jacob, you pervert!!!!(Starts screaming and covers her assets.)

Jacob – (Interrupts her screaming.)Shh!!!I am not a pervert!!! I just saw something coming after you.(Shields his eyes.)Put some clothes on.

Trixie – Okay, stop looking at me. (She slaps Jacob.)ORO!( Himura Kenshin comes out of the woods.)

Himura – You can't say 'oro'. That's my line. Kaoru hit me.

Kaoru – Really…I have to take in this one moment. Kenshin wants me to hit him. Ha!!

Himura – Just do it.

Kenshin – OROO!!!No what son.(Says it with a gangsta pose.)

Kenji – Yes father.

Kenshin – Not you him. Use it again you will feel the fury of the sakaboto. Let's go.(They leave scene.)

Jacob – That totally wasted like 3 minutes of my life.

Trixie – Mine too. (By the way, Trixie isn't in the spring and is getting dressed.)OH MY GAWD!! What is that thing?(Point to a manly poltergeist like ghoul.)

Jacob – I see one too but it's a girl-boy. Wait…it's definitely a lady. Okay run. I'll fill you in when we're safe. But for now…RUN!!!!


	3. OMFG SQUIRRELZZ, YO!

_Jacob and Trixie are running but stop when they feel safe. They both bend over with hands on their knees, huffing and puffing._

Jacob - So here is what happened and who they are. Okay they are spirits known as "The Couple". When they were alive, they were both witch doctors--- .Get back-to-back with me. The scent of the air has changed.(They appear and aim for the opposite sex.)

Trixie – They're here. What do we do? Run…again.  
Jacob – Yeah.

_Run , Run, Run and they get home._

Trixie – Okay. Finish what you were saying.

Jacob – They were a married couple and loved each other very much. Then, out of the blue they started hating each other to the point where they almost killed each other, literally. She fell in love with another man. He another woman. The day that they finally separated, both wound up engaged. On the day, of their weddings. They thought of each other. They both knew they didn't love that person more than each other. Then at the same moment they collapsed. And died of a broken heart. It says that they consume they can't rest in peace until they take the soul of that resembles, personality wise, the person they love. Or they must both see an act of love.(Jacob says in a sad tone. Almost like something sad has happened to him before like it.)(Caleb overhears and run down into the room.)  
Caleb – Hey you're back. Why are you breathing so hard---?  
(Door swishes open all the way, only to bounce off the wall and close. Trixie and Jacob looked disappointed and confused.. Then the door creaks open and then the swing the door and rush in.)

Caleb – Oh, now I know why. (Turns around and scurries away.)("The Couple" walk closer.)  
Jacob – Kiss Me.  
Trixie – What?  
Jacob – Kiss Me Now!!  
(Trixie kisses him on the cheek. A crowd applause sign lights up and they say 'awww'. Yet they still aren't stopping. Jacob grabs her face and kisses her on the lips. The crowd starts to 'whooo' and 'yea'.)(The monsters stop walking and they're bodies turn into ash. Trixie pushes him away.)

Jacob – WTF, yo? What'd you push me for?  
Trixie – You should've stopped a long time ago. I know you wanted some tongue too.  
Jacob – I just kissed you so we would be saved. Who would want tongue with you? ( some out of a pot of delicious Trinidadian stew and says…)

Mr. Felice – If I was paid 10 million, there will be tongue. (He jumps back into the stew.)  
Trixie – Whatever.(Bright light shines and an almost god-like spirit cloud thing depicts the wife and husbands.)  
Husband – Thank You, we may now rest in peace, happily.  
Wife – I hope you're life will be very joyous and full of passion. Because he is HAWT!!!!("I'm Too Sexy" by Right Said Fred starts playing.)You will have sexiest kids ever. I mean SEXY!! Ta-Ta. Now.  
Trixie – Hey! We aren't going to have kids. I wouldn't even let him see me without clothes on.  
Jacob – Too Late. I've already seen it all and I didn't like it.  
Trixie – PERVERT!!(She slaps him.)  
Jacob – I am not a pervert. I am just a little sexually influenced.*In other words, a pervert.*  
Caleb – Looks Jacob has found a mate. Why don't you show her your forms, maybe she would love you more, much like that weird girl.  
Jacob – Don't feel like it. (Yawns like a cat. Stretches like a cat. Walks into a room and goes to sleep and you hear purring sounds.)  
Alyssa – Trixie!( Runs and gives her a hug.) I think I've fallen in love.  
Trixie - Oh mijn gosh. You like that him, you've got no taste.  
Alyssa – Well, it doesn't seem like you have much more taste than I have.  
Trixie- Ewww! Why would I date such a pig?  
Alyssa – Let's go and talk about this in the guestroom. (In another place on the island, Edward was listening and heard everything. He also surveyed the whole incident.)

_Setting switch to place where Cullen and his young apprentice are staying._

Cullen – What did you hear, Tyler?  
Tyler – I heard yo' mama scream in bed last night. _OOOO!_ But seriously I heard that "The Couple" are finally rested in peace.  
Cullen – That girl must posses some type of power. There is only one power that can let them rest in peace.  
Tyler – The Power of Kissing?  
Cullen – No. It's her. She must go.  
Tyler – But what about her assistant?, I like her. What about the taco and why the baby?  
Cullen – The baby is supposed to be used to attract them into bringing me the taco. The taco itself will give me enough strength to control all. If you want the other girl, take her. No need for the weakling.  
Tyler – Cool, Alright!(Tyler starts dancing to the Keyboard Kid : .com/watch?v=oQp7Id8iRA4)

_Scene Switch_

(Trixie walks into the room where Jacob is talking in his sleep. Or more like purring in his sleep.)  
Jacob – Purrrfect. How much will the double bacon cheeseburger, onion rings and my drink cost?(Trixie interrupts)  
Trixie – Jacob, what are you talking about?(Poof sound a brite light. Figures start moving underthe sheet of the bed.)  
Jacob – Whuu?Why are you in my room?  
Trixie – I was wondering when we were going to leave . Me and Alyssa are waiti – (He interrupts.)  
Jacob – It's Alyssa and I. You've been caught ya'd!  
Trixie – Whatever. When are we going?(Jacob bets up and isn't dressed at all. Then he flexes his manly muscles.)  
Jacob – Give me like five minutes.  
(Realizing he was naked, Trixie became wide-eyed and her face turned red.)  
Jacob – Stop Looking at me.(Covers his family jewels.)  
(Trixie faints AGAIN.)*Black Out*

_3 minutes later..._

Caleb – Are you okay? You fainted on us again.  
Trixie – Yeah I am fine now. Now let's go.  
Jacob – Are you sure? You should take it easy. I mean you hit your head pretty hard and bleed at little. You should wait until all the blood returns to your head.  
Alyssa – I think Trixie's okay. She is a trooper. We should be going now.  
Jacob – If you say, let's go. By the way, who is going to take care of the house while we're gone?  
Caleb - This old Buddhist monk named Leslie said he would for free.  
Jacob – Okay. C'mon Trixie.  
Trixie – Just let me grab my stuff. (The gang is off to find the taco on the southernmost and highest part of the island.)

_Meanwhile at Edward's place…  
_

Cullen - Since they have decided to bet the taco for me, I think I will just relax and send out something when I want. When I get that taco, I will be able to control the world with my TWILIGHT PARAPHENELIA. MWAHAHAHAHA. I'm thristy.


	4. Bumpkinz

(Our group is traveling and chatting.)

Trixie – Hey, Jacob! Why does everyone fear Edward?  
Jacob – If I answer you, will you answer my question?  
Trixie – Sure  
Jacob – Well, two years ago this land was happy peaceful place. The King and Queen ruled the land. I know it is very fairy tail-ish . But they were oh so nice and generous to us. Because they were king and queen, they were the strongest of everyone and everything. They control one thing that no one else in the world can use as a benefit and not yield bad results. The one thing man has not design machine to dominate and master. And anyone is susceptible to it: Time. Adaptations over time. Personal decisions and taste can change over time. Everything you know can just change and diminish before your eyes. Like a collapsing building or a fragile eroded rock. They were the only ones who could pass through this barrier and the next. Like every living being, they grew old, yet they still had the appearance of persons in their youth. Like my beautiful face is an example and your wrinkles an example of how they would look like if they if they didn't use magic.  
Alyssa – Hey, watch your mouth dog.  
Jacob – I'm just saying. (Jacob hunches his shoulder with hands up against his chest as if he was being arrested.)As I was saying before, one evening, the king was across the barrier and was being "mugged" (Says with air quotes.) He managed to escape toward the river and fled. The "mugger" was Edward Cullen. He wanted to know why the man could just disappear. He made up this crazy philosophy about him and was right in his illogical thinking and outrageous plans. He started believing in this place. He told his wife Bella about it and she thought he was absolutely crazy. Since she didn't believe, he divorced her and left her alone with her five vampire kids. One evening he went out and stared into the river and it appeared before him.  
Trixie – How did he get _here _?  
Jacob – IDK(Shrugs his shoulders)  
Caleb – I think I know. He got here by finding the son of the king and queen, that happened to live in that world. He forced him to give him the power to travel here. With this jewel thing. He defeated the king and queen with his one strength.  
Trixie – What was the strength?  
Caleb – Vampire do this thing and it's kinda strange. It's called "glamouring". Not only can it hypnotize, it can brainwash. Our honorable rulers were brainwashed into hating each other and it all went down hill from ther. The King and Queen fought until death and the battle took a toll on citizens. If a person ever was caught in crossfire, their head or some part of their body was surely gone. They stopped for no one. While fighting, there was no one to oversee the land and make sure nothing bad happened. The demons and evil spirits rose from the sealed land and went on a rampage for human blood and flesh. Bodies lay torn apart on land and all Edward did was laugh with a smirk on his face. He laughed and laughed and laughed. He knew he had gained control and no one would dare stop him. He was the upmost power now and there was no one greater. There was one rebellion that we rather not talk about.  
Trixie – I see. That's how he took over. It seems like he would attempt to do something greater. I guess he didn't want to get his hands dirty and let tem destroy themselves.  
Jacob – Now, let me ask you my question. Where are you from? Who sent you? Why are you here?  
Trixie – (Clears her throat.) We live in a different place, far off. We run a detective service. Alyssa cleans houses and we also sell novelty coffee mugs and t-shirts. One day, a man named Saj was baking a baby and it was stolen b Edward. He told us he lives here and it is invisible to those who don't believe. It's almost like Peter Pan. Most people do not know about this and only believe it as a rumor, so they don't believe at are basically here to solve the problem.  
Caleb – Aaaahhh! But what does this man named Peter have to do with it. And why does anyone care his pan.  
Trixie – It's a story. But that wasn't the point. If the true king and queen can pass the barrier. How did Edward get through?  
Caleb – He did force the son to let him through. If so, how did you get here?  
Trixie – ?!Where is Alyssa?  
(The thereof them stop in their footsteps and look around. Two of them whiff the air for her scent.)  
Jacob – There!  
(Alyssa is having a tea party with a raccoon, Hello Kitty lunchbox, Cardcaptor Sakura action figure and a rock.)  
Caleb – WTF?!We need to find the magical taco and you're having a little tea party! We should've left you at home if this was what you were going to do.  
Alyssa – Well, you don't always have to be on the move. Live your life to the fullest.  
Caleb – Yeah but we need to find this taco, find Edward, so you can go home.  
Alyssa – SHUT UP! Maybe I don't want to go home. Maybe I'm tired of cleaning dirty homes of lazy bums, okay!  
(Everyone tried hard not to laugh but still burst out laughing very hard.)  
Alyssa – On second thought, I do enjoy meeting new people. So I take back everything I said.  
Jacob – So come on and let's go. Besides what did you use for tea if you didn't have any.  
Alyssa – I used healthy cow milk from Darnell-Cookman's refrigerator.  
Trixie – But how did you keep it cold?  
Alyssa – If you didn't know already, at Darnell-Cookman everything is frozen at 29° below 0. Then, food is heated to thaw out and served. DUH!  
Caleb – What's a refrigerator? And what is a Danell-Cookman? What's a -29°F?  
Alyssa –You have a lot to learn about me and my world.  
Jacob – It's my world and I. You've been caught ya'd!  
Alyssa – Thank you, Jacob. I definitely needed that. (Sarcasm)

_20 minutes later…_

Jacob – Let's take a break.  
Trixie – Yeah, My feet are killing me. Anybody want an apple?  
Caleb – I'll take one.  
Alyssa – Me too.

(Trixie pulls out her iPod and turns it on.)  
Jacob & Caleb – WHAT IS THAT THING?! It scares me.  
Trixie – It's just an iPod. It won't kill you. It's a machine that allows you to listen to music when you want. Here give it a try.(She hands the headphones to Jacob and Caleb)  
Trixie – Here put it in your ear and listen.  
("Don't Cha" by PCD is playing on the iPod)  
Caleb – Umm…Why do I want my girlfriend to be hot like her? Skanks.(He pulled the earphones out of his ear.)I think I will go for a walk  
Trixie – Don't go too far.  
Alyssa – I'll go with him.  
Caleb – I'd rather have heart worms.  
Alyssa – Why?  
Caleb – Because I said so.  
Alyssa – Why?(They vanish into the forest behind the wide, dark trees)  
(Trixie turns her head and lays down next to Jacob.)  
Trixie – I see you are enjoying my iPod.  
Jacob – Actually I don't. I just don't want to talk to you.  
Trixie – Why do you have to be so rude to me?  
Jacob – Because you are a nuisance. We are trying to find this taco, then you two arrive.  
Trixie – Well, you didn't have to come with us to find it. Why do you guys want it either?  
Jacob – I have to destroy Edward Cullen and restore peace. Plus, if we weren't here you'd be dead.  
Trixie – Well, nothing has attacked us and I can defend myself.(She gets up and walks away. She trips on a rope and catches here in a net. Two guys that sort of resemble pirates pull-up the net and run away.)  
(Trixie whips out her sword and tries to cut the net.)  
Pirate Guy#1 – It's useless you're not possibly strong to cut this net.  
Pirate Guy #2 – You're so right. She's justa woman. She's useless other than cooking, cleaning and childbirth.  
Trixie – Hey, who told you that lie?  
Pirate Guy #1 – SHUT UP!  
Trixie – Help me!


End file.
